the condom got lost in my hair
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
