His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
