oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
