idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Princesses don't give blow jobs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize