Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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