right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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