I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
