She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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