very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
