if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
