hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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