i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
