And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
