No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
