Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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