people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
