Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
