Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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