guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
