I puked a lego.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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