I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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