woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
