Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
