you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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