just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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