He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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