Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize