I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
