Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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