I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
