Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
