Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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