Pappa wants mamma naked
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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