I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
