Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
