Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
