i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize