Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
