i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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