Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
