I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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