She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just gargled with NyQuil
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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