Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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