We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
