You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize