that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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