we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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