hotel room ftw
Your tits are I can't wait for
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
