she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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