Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's shark week go big or go home
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
