They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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