i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Couch. On fire.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Congratulations! We have a period
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