When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think your dad took our porno
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
