Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
