I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
