as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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