but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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