I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
no, he came in my armpit
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
