So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
