Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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