She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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