i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize