We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
