i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
