Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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