hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize