He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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