why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Randomize
