I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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