I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
