Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
is it fun? or sober?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
