Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
