I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
