We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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