he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize